In India

Spicy

Okay back to tales of india... I wrote this a few weeks back before my tantalizing ( litterally look up Tantalus) trip back to the states.

So Old Goa turned out to take a little more than an hour, no one lives in old goa, it's just a few ruined churches. My driver sugested we go to the spice plantation. Normally I pass on stuff like this because I don't know where it is or what it is, and you know the drivers just taking you there to get the kickback...but with the beach being what it was and not much else to do ( there were a few more churches in Panjim, but the guide said they were nothing compared to old goa)...

So he says spice plantation, and I start thinking of something like I'm going to see 400 people picking chilis or something...

So we dirve through Goa, which is suprisingly well paved, and not too bad to look at. It turns out to be this ayurvedic cooperative thing ( Definition: Ayurveda is the indian word for wholistic hippie medicine) ...they welcome you with a glass of lemongrass tea, and give you this flower necklace with healing herbs...and if you try to take it off they put it back on you.

There's a walk where they describe plants and their healing powers...the guy kept smashing up leaves for me to smell and try to identify...we're just from two different worlds here...

>>"I don't know ...is it cinamon?"
"I give hint...is used for type of nerve gas"
>>"Uh...then should I be sniffing it?"
" Nutmeg!"

I guess I should be excited....nutmeg....We still played guess the plant for another half hour.

"..For upset stomach"
>>"Yeah uh....ginger?"
"No (laughing) Ginger is root..."
>>"Oh right...look I don't know my stomach was royally screwed up a few weeks back, Cipro buddy, I swear by it"

I eventually got him to stop talking about leaves and explain the fenny distillery ( which is way more interesting) and the ingenious irrigation rigging, it was this series of tubes ties to individual trees, so they could regulate each tree individually.

Then there was Apoh.

Apoh (the angry spice elephant)

Apoh the elephant, they don't even use him for logging. Aparently his only job is posing for pictures and making compost. Not a bad deal Apoh...so why are you so angry?

This is the first shot, that's me ( with stupid flower necklace) getting closerto Apoh seeemed to get his attention. There's a mahout (elephant keeper) off to the left of the frame, that's what I'm looking at. He keeps shouting things and waving a stick in the air. You'll also notice I'm starting to walk away from Apoh, because he's kind of stamping and shaking his head.

And as you can see it's a good thing I wasn't looking at the camera, because Apoh

took a swipe at me. (Why's everything gotta try to take me out? He probably wanted the flower neclace...)

The camera guy caught it halfway.

I only caught that out of the corner of my eye, and I was standing far enough away...but it's hard to gauge with a creature the size of a van what exactly 'out of reach' would be.
By the time he swung his head around I was out of the way. I guess he's just not a photo elephant, and there's got to be some reason his pointy tusks were capped with bling.....

Anyway...I'd had enough fun at the hippie spice farm.

Ah Liberty....

Let's take a break from talking about fantastic sub-continent for a bit to discuss what today is all about. It's independance day in the states. Our country is great because it promises you 3 very simple things, I'll summarize eveyone's entitled to:

1. Life ...The government promises We won't try to kill you
2. Liberty...The govenrment says you can pretty much do as you like
3. The pursuit of happiness...The government says...sure, go on ,give it a shot.
   

These are not really big things, you probably expect more of the people who live next door to you. (Hey, thanks for not trying to kill me , could you pick up my mail when I go on vacation?)

But for these small promises, people from around the world flock to the shores of America.
Promises 1 is okay in most places, unless you're of a minority ethnic group in which case all bets are off

Promise 2 is in really in short supply around the rest of the planet. This place still has a fairly active censorship board. And next time you get in on an international flight , check out the movie selection, for example Brokeback Mountain was playing on the flight to the U.S. There were other more acceptable movies listed for the flights to China, Dubai...etc.

And number 3...well in most places they don't even give you the illusion of being able to try. Me, I'm actviley pursuing.

And I'll be dammed if I'm going to have the 4th without some american food. Nope, it's got to be hotdogs and beer. Beer I know about, I pretty much nailed that down after I got off the plane. Hotdogs were a little harder, I was going to settle for sikh kababs, but where there's a will, there's....

Mmm...Hotdogs

The ingrediens on a pack of Al Kabeer mutton hotdogs are listed as

• Mutton
• Ice
• Binder

Now binder may well be cardboard or glue... but I think it's gauranteed not to try to reporduce in my gut, and that's all I ask of foodstuffs anymore. Pretty balnd, but the mustard was off the charts.

Oh...Koybayashi (Lance Armstrong's a wuss)

Now for the true hotdog enthusiast there is only one man to look at ...Koybayashi

http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/news/story?id=2509226

Again ....6 straight...although as the numbers show he may actually be hitting up against the human limit of consumption.

This man eats at a rate so outrageous it even fills me with a mix of admiration and disgust. Go download a video clip...amazing....

How does he do it? Practice. While others sit and dream of the glory , the true champions are hard at work. Kobayashi trains like a machine. Wake up...eat a hotdog In the shower...eat a hotdog On the bus to work...eat a hotdog. In the japanese hello-kitty themed food court when the lights are out and everyone else has gone home....one more hotdog.
He will be remembered as one of the most dominant 'atheltes' of our time. No question.

Nahi hotdogs pasand hei ?(You don't like hotdogs?)

For those who think this is a waste of a digital camera and a trip to India, there was another draft of this about the 'huddled masses' (and that's what they do when it raining okay, they huddle). I chose to focus on the hotdogs.